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Thanos By Hannaford
Used under Creative Commons license. Original photograph created by Hannford and is available on Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/27745117@N00/46469208792

Ranked: The Marvel Cinematic Universe

I finished my rewatch of the Marvel Cinematic Universe this weekend when I watched the final episode of Falcon and the Winter Soldier (It was good!) and so because the internet apparently likes when you rank things (Hey, I don’t make the rules!) the following are my rankings for all of the movies and shows in the MCU.

But first, let me tell you what won’t be in there. You won’t see the Netflix shows (Daredevil, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Iron Fist and Defenders), the two ABC shows (Agent Carter and Agents of Shield) or some of the others that appeared on other streaming services (Like Runaways and Cloak and Dagger) because, while they were supposedly part of the MCU, it’s pretty clear that Marvel ignored them in the mainstream part of their universe with only the slightest of mentions in some of those shows about the events in the movies. Even having a major minor character like Agent Coulson in AoS doesn’t really help the cause for inclusion. Meanwhile, Wandavision and FatWS shared major characters from the movies in their own respective shows and have movies that focus on them coming in the future. 

So, without further ado:

25. Iron Man 2

Two words why this was ranked so low: Ivan Vanko. I’m sorry but Mickey Rourke, recently off his big comeback movie, The Wrestler, through no fault of his own, was miscast as the big bad for the movie. Also, maybe his fault, he sort of looked ridiculous. Almost everything else about the movie was very good and I hope that we’d see a return Sam Rockwell’s Justin Hammer some day. Unlike Rourke Rockwell was perfect. 

24. Iron Man 3

I’m just disappointed we didn’t get a real Mandarin here. Maybe we’ll see him as a big bad in Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Or maybe we’ll just learn that Aldrich Killian just stole the logo from a Google Image search when creating the back story for his imaginary terrorist. Also, Shane Black, stop with the “Christmas” movies. It was cute for a while but stop trying to shoehorn it in.

23. Thor: The Dark World

The Dark Elves never felt very threatening and also it was never made clear why the Aether, AKA the Reality Stone, was a floating, swirling, malevolent cloud and not a stone and why/how it became a stone by the time Thanos found it. It’s almost like they made the movie and were like, “Oh yeah, we were supposed to introduce another Infinity Stone.”

22. The Incredible Hulk

Perfectly cromulent. Ed Norton was good, Liv Tyler was okay and, while William Hurt was very good, I thought Sam Elliot was a better Thunderbolt Ross (I actually think the casting for Ang Lee’s Hulk was better overall.). At least there weren’t any gamma-irradiated dogs.

21. Thor

Chris Hemsworth as Thor was perfect. So was Hiddleston as Loki. Honestly, the casting department for Marvel really kills it, don’t they? Very few missteps. Thor is the first of the movies to move up from just being Good to Very Good.

20. Captain Marvel

It’s the twenty-first movie in the MCU but is second in the timeline since we travel back to 1989 and 1995 to learn Carol Danvers origin story. A side benefit is that we get to see Agent Coulson back in the MCU proper since *spoiler alert* he was “killed” in The Avengers and shipped off to the gulag that was Agents of Shield. Brie Larson was great and it introduced us to Monica Rambeau (as a kid) who pops up 20 or so years later in Wandavision. I guess she’ll take the name Photon next we see her since Captain Marvel’s already taken. Another in a long list of the Very Goods from Marvel. 

19. Ant-Man 

Fuck, Paul Rudd was close to 47 when he donned the suit. The man doesn’t age.

18. Ant-Man and The Wasp

Three years later and Rudd’s 50 and somehow looks … younger? And no one should be allowed to be this charming. Finally we get to see the Wasp. She kicks ass. Michael Douglas, as he was in the first one, plays a great arrogant, egotistical curmudgeon. Let’s just hope that the MCU version of Hank Pym never pulls an Avengers #213. Walter Goggins is always a welcome addition.

17. The Avengers

The first Avenger Movie is also the worst Avengers movie. But all that means is it’s still very good. It’s biggest problem was also it’s biggest threat: The Chitauri. I mean, how bad ass can they be if all you have to do is destroy the mother ship to beat them? Still entertaining as hell and it was great to see the team come together.

16. Falcon and the Winter Soldier

The only thing not to like about the second official MCU show on Disney+ was the Flag Smashers. They just weren’t that compelling and it’s why it’s only 16 on the list. I’d definitely love to see another season, everything else about it was great, but I doubt we’ll get it since we know Captain America 4 is in production. And what would the call it anyway? Captain America and the White Wolf? I’m also left wondering where/when we’ll see US Agent and The Countess again. Also, maybe we’ll get an Isaiah Bradley mini-series?

15. Avengers: Age of Ultron

It’s where we start going from Very Good to Great. James Spader as Ultron? *Chef’s Kiss* Honestly, I hope they actually missed one of his drones during the clean up so we can get Crazy Robot James Spader again somewhere in Phase 4 or 5.

14. Captain America: Civil War

This Really should have been called Avengers: Civil War. My guess? A contractual obligation to Chris Evans resulted it being in named a Captain America movie. And hey, we got Spider-Man! And a young Aunt May. Hell, I was an uncle when I was in college. It was always weird that Ben and May were in their 70s. Also, how irresponsible was of Tony Stark when he recruited a 15-year-old? 

13. Spider-Man: Far from Home

Mysterio was sort of right. Peter wasn’t ready for the glasses. Too bad he was psychotic and a megalomaniac. Basically a less smart Tony Stark without a Pepper Potts or the near death experience to readjust his moral compass. Peter starts coming into his own but he’s got a long way to go. It caps the Infinity Saga and begins to explore the post-original Avengers MCU.

12. Wandavision

I think the real question that’s posed by Wandavision is this: how do you hold one of the most powerful beings in existence accountable for their crimes? Seriously, she goes to a cabin in the woods for some self-reflection? I guess the only person who can hold Scarlet Witch accountable is the Scarlet Witch. Still, great show and also doubles as the origin story for Photon(?)/Monica Rambeau. Bonus points for bringing back Darcy Lewis and Jimmy Woo. Disney+ needs a Darcy/Jimmy crime-fighting show.

11. Spider-man: Homecoming

I’ve switched Homecoming and the two movies that follow multiple times. That’s how hard the movies from here on out are to place. Love Michael Keaton back in a superhero movie, even if he was the villain. He really brought that Pacific Heights energy to his role as Adrian Toomes.

10. Doctor Strange

Picking a horror writer and director to helm the entry into the mystic world of Marvel seemed risky to some but C. Robert Cargill and Scott Derrickson nailed it. The only disappointment was learning that creative differences led to them departing the sequel. The tone was absolutely perfect. I questioned the casting of a couple of key roles but Benedict Cumberbatch and the controversial casting of Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One were better than I’d originally feared. And while I enjoyed Swinton’s portrayal of the Ancient One I still think casting an Asian in the role would have been both truer to the source material and better for the movie. And I still think my choice for Dr. Strange, Boardwalk Empire’s Jack Huston, still would have been great. Too bad no one was listening.

9. Guardians of the Galaxy

Ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb! If I was rating soundtracks this and its sequel would be tied for number one. While other Marvel movies have had humor GoTG really embraced it and the silliness that exists in the Marvel Universe. Its story of the importance of found family just has a ton of heart and where else can you see a dance-off to save the galaxy?

8. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2

If I hadn’t decided there’d be no ties GoTG volumes 1 and 2 would be tied. They’re just such a natural extension of each other more than any of the other movies and their direct sequel. The story of found family continues and I still think it’s one of the MCU’s most resonating storylines.

7. Avengers: Infinity War

See Avengers: Endgame

6. Avengers: Endgame

Infinity War and Endgame are really just one long movie and deserve to be placed together. They’re the payoff to a decade long promise and they were worth the wait. Nearly perfect. Endgame might have the two greatest moments in the MCU to date, Captain America wielding Mjölnir (“I knew it!”) and, of course, Captain America saying, “Avengers… assemble.”

5. Captain America: The First Avenger

You got your World War 2 movie in my superhero movie! No, you got your superhero movie in my World War 2 movie! They’re two great tastes that taste great together! Also, even though I hadn’t read a Captain America comic in ages, this movie reminded me why Captain America had long been one of my favorite characters—Steve Rogers, like Superman for DC, has an innate goodness that’s aspirational.

4. Iron Man

The movie that kicked off the MCU and it did it with a bang. Another of my childhood favorites Iron Man had seemed to be a second tier character outside of comics but, due to what were perceived as Marvel’s top tier characters being licensed out to Sony and Fox, Iron Man was who they had to work with to introduce the world to the MCU. Lucky for us worked it did. Tony Stark has long been one of Marvel’s most flawed heroes and that’s one of the reason it works. An egotistical, self-involved, narcissistic, alcoholic party-boy who overcomes his flaws to become a hero. Sort of the anti-Captain America in that respect. He’s the lynchpin of the MCU and the one who makes the ultimate sacrifice. He’s also a big reason for a lot of the problem’s our heroes face but that’s a different topic for another time.

3. Black Panther

Killmonger is one of the best antagonists Marvel has put on screen. Why? Because in many ways he was right even if his methods and outcomes were wrong. It also showed why Black Panther is such a great hero; he learned from his enemy and showed him compassion. I’m looking forward to the next installment Black Panther: Wakanda Forever but I can’t conceive of how they’ll do it. How do you account for the loss of Chadwick Boseman? I’m not sure you can.

2. Thor: Ragnarok

For anyone who’d been waiting for Jack Kirby’s version of the MCU to be served up Taika Waititi did it to perfection. It also has my favorite line in the MCU, “He’s a friend… from work!” Like the two GoTG movies it fully embraces the inherent humor and absurdity in the Marvel Universe.

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

The Manchurian Candidate as superhero movie. Perhaps the most cynical movie of the MCU as it sees Captain America begin to question his loyalty to those in power and see how his ideals and naivety were used against him. While many scenes in the MCU are a bigger spectacle Captain America’s elevator fight scene is my favorite one in all of the MCU. “Before we get started—does anyone want to get out?”

So… what does this all mean? Absolutely nothing. It’s just my personal preference for the movies and, quite frankly, there’s not a MCU movie or show I haven’t enjoyed. My feeling is that even the worst of the bunch was still a good movie and fun to watch. Honestly, I think the most shocking thing about the MCU has been how consistently good it’s been and its biggest misstep has been how it treated its tangential shows like those on Netflix and ABC. I can’t wait to see what happens in Phases 4 and 5.

Photo created by Hannaford and used under Creative Commons 2.0. Original Photo available here.